L’evidence : Is it that he thinks he’s funny when actually he’s not?

Is it that his musical efforts are hopelessly twee, bland and stale?

Is that the films he is in are generally shit?

No. It is none of those things although those things count.

It is because he spells his name ‘Foxx’.

You don’t need two Xs Jamie. One is more than sufficient. Two is beyond greedy. It’s cuntish in the extreme. The only way it could possibly be worse is if you spell it ‘Foks’ or some variation of that.

What is wrong with just ‘Fox’? Less is more sometimes.Is there another Jamie Fox out there? Even if there was, why worry? Everyone would be able to tell the difference. One is not a cunt, the other is you.

I do not spell my name Etienne Plutard le Cuntt, do I? No, I do not. That is because I am not a cunt.

Le Verdict : He’s Le Cunt of an actor, Le Cunt of a singer, Le Cunt of a compere, Le Cunt of a comedian but he’s such a fucking Le Cunt for the way he spells his name I’m thinking of changing this website’s name to Le Foxx.

L’evidence : Please see the video below:

“I’M A FAAAAAAAAAN O’ MAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!”

Le Cunt has exclusively uncovered pictures of both of Al Pacino’s parents. See below:

So, the laws of nature tell us that when two hams have a child it can’t be an actor, it can’t be a doctor or a pilot or a ship’s captain, it can only be a ham.

Al Pacino is thoroughbred, 100% ham. Yeah, he might have been in the Godfather and Serpico but it was obvious he was on anti-hampressants, drugs designed to make him appear normal. As time went by the ham had to come out and we got Devil’s Advocate, Scent of a Woman, Gigli and, let us not forget the hammiest acting performance of all time in the most overrated film of all time, Scarface.

“Why done ju try steeking jur head up jur ass … see eef eet feets”

That’s honey-roasted, Serrano, Parma, Iberico, roasted, boiled, steamed and dry-cured all in one go.

Le verdict : Some people like ham. I like ham. But I like it on my plate, not on the silver screen, Al, you shouty, over the top, Napoleon looking, cooked pig Le Cunt.

L’evidence: If I were to sit here at my keyboard for the next 2000 years I should not have enough time to provide all the evidence that Kutcher is Le Cunt.

For a start his name is Ashton. That is, as names go, most stupid indeed. Also he was involved, as far as I can recall, in one of those ghastly candid camera type TV shows where he played pranks on unsuspecting celebs. Let’s face it, playing a prank on a celebrity is like breaking into a hospital room and having sex with someone in a coma. Anyone can do it but ultimately it’s not terribly satisfying.

He is also a big user of social networking site Twitter. I read that he had a challenge with some other person to see who could get a million followers first. He won this challenge and declared himself the world Twitter champion, or some such nonsense. Now over 3,000,000 people follow his Twitter stream. I’m sure it is an outlet for intelligent, considered thought, such as:

Meeting with Nike foundation to help end the sexual exploitation of girls.

Fantastic – who better than Nike to help end any kind of exploitation! And how considerate of Ashton to look out for them ‘lil ol’ girls.

Don’t it always seem 2 go, U don’t know what U got til it’s gone, they paved paradise & put up a parking lot- Joni Mitchell

If there’s anything worse than the whiny caterwauling of Joni Mitchell it’s transcribing Joni Mitchell into text speak.

Amazing how every day another big business bans or puts restriction on employee use of the social web. They R so scared of losing control.

Yes, how dare employees actually want their employees to work instead of cunting about all day on Twitter and Facebook.

I believe Booing is a low point in cultural ethics and has no place in humanity.

So how else should people express their displeasure? Perhaps they could crow like a rooster or smack their tits together. Saying booing has no place in humanity is like saying applause has no place in humanity and applause would mean nothing if there was no booing. As a celebrity who exists simply for people to tell him how great he is he would understand the value of the negative reaction if he wasn’t such a fatheaded tardbadger.

Now I realise you could go through anybody’s Twitter feed and make them out to be just as futile a human being as Ashton but most people did not star in ‘Dude, where’s my car?’ or any of the other truly awful films he’s been in that I have not seen because they have him in them.

Also, he is a Chelsea fan, a serious medical affliction which can be cured by drilling into the top of one’s head with a Black and Decker special. But does he take such measures? No, he does not, content to remain a Chelsea fan.

Le Verdict: There have been many great monsters in this world. Atilla the Hun, Genghis Khan, Wrathov Khan, Imran Khan and the lead singer from Maroon 5, but Ashton Kutcher beats them all, the shit filming being in, prank pulling, Twitter loving Le Cunt.

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L’evidence : Please watch this video. I know it’s 59 seconds of your life that you will never get back but it is necessary to become fully aware of what this cunt foists upon the world.

Ooooh, he talks in a funny voice and says the word ‘monkey’ in a weird way. That is hilarious. There are tears of laughter streaming down my face.

No, wait. Those are not tears of laughter. They are tears of blood and the juice that keeps your eyes moist because I have gouged them out of my head due to the fact that Noel Fielding is about as funny as losing all your money on the stock market.

And as if that isn’t enough he is friends with Razorlight who are to music what Josef Fritzl is to childcare.

Le Verdict : Fielding lives under the misguided impression that being zany is somehow good, that it’s somehow funny. This is not true. Being zany is for cunts like Timmy Mallet or Jimmy Cricket. He also has stupid hair. In short, he is comedy’s answer to AIDS, a stupid voice talking, unamusing, quadruple zany, Russell Brand looking Le Cunt.