Le Cunt: Ashton Kutcher, actor and all round tosspot
L’evidence: If I were to sit here at my keyboard for the next 2000 years I should not have enough time to provide all the evidence that Kutcher is Le Cunt.
For a start his name is Ashton. That is, as names go, most stupid indeed. Also he was involved, as far as I can recall, in one of those ghastly candid camera type TV shows where he played pranks on unsuspecting celebs. Let’s face it, playing a prank on a celebrity is like breaking into a hospital room and having sex with someone in a coma. Anyone can do it but ultimately it’s not terribly satisfying.
He is also a big user of social networking site Twitter. I read that he had a challenge with some other person to see who could get a million followers first. He won this challenge and declared himself the world Twitter champion, or some such nonsense. Now over 3,000,000 people follow his Twitter stream. I’m sure it is an outlet for intelligent, considered thought, such as:
Meeting with Nike foundation to help end the sexual exploitation of girls.
Fantastic – who better than Nike to help end any kind of exploitation! And how considerate of Ashton to look out for them ‘lil ol’ girls.
Don’t it always seem 2 go, U don’t know what U got til it’s gone, they paved paradise & put up a parking lot- Joni Mitchell
If there’s anything worse than the whiny caterwauling of Joni Mitchell it’s transcribing Joni Mitchell into text speak.
Amazing how every day another big business bans or puts restriction on employee use of the social web. They R so scared of losing control.
Yes, how dare employees actually want their employees to work instead of cunting about all day on Twitter and Facebook.
I believe Booing is a low point in cultural ethics and has no place in humanity.
So how else should people express their displeasure? Perhaps they could crow like a rooster or smack their tits together. Saying booing has no place in humanity is like saying applause has no place in humanity and applause would mean nothing if there was no booing. As a celebrity who exists simply for people to tell him how great he is he would understand the value of the negative reaction if he wasn’t such a fatheaded tardbadger.
Now I realise you could go through anybody’s Twitter feed and make them out to be just as futile a human being as Ashton but most people did not star in ‘Dude, where’s my car?’ or any of the other truly awful films he’s been in that I have not seen because they have him in them.
Also, he is a Chelsea fan, a serious medical affliction which can be cured by drilling into the top of one’s head with a Black and Decker special. But does he take such measures? No, he does not, content to remain a Chelsea fan.
Le Verdict: There have been many great monsters in this world. Atilla the Hun, Genghis Khan, Wrathov Khan, Imran Khan and the lead singer from Maroon 5, but Ashton Kutcher beats them all, the shit filming being in, prank pulling, Twitter loving Le Cunt.
(13 votes, average: 8.77 out of 10)
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