Le Cunt : Tromboning – an act of love

L’evidence : Obviously this is not something for which I can provide documented proof. You shall simply have to take my word for it. My current partner recently asked me if I would enjoy spicing up our love life. I thought this would be a most splendid idea. Things have become a bit stale recently so I thought he meant me dressing up in suspenders or a bit of outdoor or even backdoor action. I am a lady of the world and have no qualms in accepting that almost any hole is, as they say, a goal. Instead he made me aware that he had a fantasy which involved tromboning. Innocently I wondered what bringing a brass instrument to bed would do and where we’d actually get one, I had thought Waltons might lend us one, but then he outlined the procedure a little further.

Tromboning involves a lady, or a man I suppose, tonguing robustly at the anus of his or her partner whilst providing manual pleasure to the erect member. And to be perfectly honest it wasn’t that unpleasant in itself. He had a shower beforehand and washed the backside area very well so there would be no ghastly surprise tastes. I settled into a rhythm quite quickly and it must have been awfully arousing because inside a couple of minutes he came quite vigorously. The unfortunate part was at the point of ejaculation he also farted. I can still feel the hot parp of air as it went directly into my mouth before I swallowed it. I have swallowed many things in my time, including his ejaculate, but never his farts.

Le verdict : Therefore, I do not recommend tromboning to any woman (or man but I care less about them as a man doing it to another man is sexually deviant) because although there is a certain amount of pleasure to be gained there is the very real danger that you could end up with noxious gas in your mouth. It is an arsey farty le cunt.

(5 votes, average: 7.40 out of 10)

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