Le Cunt : Celine Dion, the thin necked, pursed lipped, Canadian queen of cunt pop.

L’evidence : If ever there was an open and shut case of total and utter unequivocal cuntbaggery this is it. Born into a family of impoverished beaver beaters (a blue collar job in Canada), she has risen to almost global domination of the “let’s stay in with a bottle of Shiraz and talk about our relationship” pop market.

Her marriage to uber rich and successful manger helped her cause no end, and even when he got cancer she still managed to produce such magnificently banal hits as ‘My heart will go on’, ‘It’s all coming back to me now’ and the wonderfully awful ‘That’s the way it is’, which somehow managed to reach the top ten in the UK charts in 1999.

Her wild and frenzied gambling problem (this could be hearsay and conjecture) led her to sign a five year deal to perform 5 nights a week in Las Vegas, although built into her contract was an hour break each evening to try and ‘beat the house’. Recently Celine announced she was pregnant with her second child, she denied reports that it would be similar to that hybrid lizard baby in V, but said she was looking forward to releasing some of her rancid breast milk once again.

Le Verdict : Magnificently pointless French Canadian warbler who is feeding the world’s population of mediocre music lovers who have no thought process of their own Le Cunt.

(10 votes, average: 8.60 out of 10)

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