Le Cunt : David Dunn, footballer, Blackburn, England.

L’evidence : Speaking about Blackburn’s opening game of the new Premier League season, Dunn said of opponents Manchester City “It’s important we do our best and kick lumps out of them – fairly of course”

Now, don’t get me wrong. I have no serious objection to anybody kicking lumps out of Craig Bellamy, Emmanuel Adebayor, Robinho or any of the other money-grasping, mercenery cuntsacks that City have assembled, but why qualify a statement like that?

How can you kick lumps out of somebody fairly? It’s like saying “I’m going to murder him in cold blood – fairly of course”, as if the so-called fairness somehow makes it all right.

If he had just said “We’re going to kick lumps out of them”, fine. Seeing chunks of Adebayor’s calf or Robinho’s hamstring strewn around the pitch would make the opening day of the season an absolute pleasure but kicking someone so great slabs of their own flesh are removed from their body is known, in football parlance, as a ‘foul’. And a foul by it’s very nature cannot be fair.

Le verdict: Dunn really needs to work on his understanding of the English language. Maybe he was just trying to convey the message that his team would provide a great physical challenge for the Premier League’s Arab playthings but instead he has just made himself look like a stupid, ignorant, Son of Sam Le Cunt.

(14 votes, average: 8.71 out of 10)

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